When does exercise become destructive?

In my last blog “Things your personal trainer does, but you don’t”, I received a great comment from Kirsty a reader that prompted me to write this new article. We all use the term “exercise junkie” to describe people that simply love to train but for some people they really can form destructive addictions to exercise. These are real exercise “junkies”. This lady bravely described her experience where she became so focused on her training and eating that it became a disorder that very almost destroyed her marriage.

Sadly this is a reality in the world of exercise and it’s something that isn’t often written about or discussed in fitness blogs. We all love to celebrate and applaud someone that’s achieved their goal body because we understand how hard it is. We understand what it takes to actually achieve that amazing body most only ever dream of having. It represents hours of dedicated gym time, hard training and clean eating. A rock hard body doesn’t just happen, people make it happen with sweat, sore muscles and an unrelenting focus.

But what happens when this dedication we admire becomes something else entirely? At what point do we cross that fine line from dedicated to completely obsessed?
When does exercise become destructive? 

Happily, Kirsty came through her destructive exercise obsession with a healthier and more complete outlook on life. She found how exercise and health could still work for her while still maintaining a strong enjoyment of life. She let go of her unhealthy fixation on achieving a rock hard body and now embraces all other things her body, mind and spirit can do, like growing a child, giving birth and meeting and interacting with amazing people. As she discovered it’s very much an issue of balance. 

But getting out of balance could be easier than you think. I often see young guys hit the gym to do what most young guys want to do, get themselves a hot girl (or two!). Now they may have a pretty un-athletic body that they’re unhappy with. They just want a bit more muscle so they can have the confidence to talk to that stunning girl they’re interested in. So they hit the gym hard and start getting focused. After a few months they start seeing some results. Muscles are actually starting to look good and their strength is going up. They feel very pleased and decide to up their efforts. Soon the fruits of their labour are starting to show and someone tells them they are looking good. NOW they’re seriously pumped. They hit the gym every day, eat clean every day, go to bed early and spend, spend, spend on those supplements. They’re hooked. The gym is their buzz and they go every day. But… no girl. The gym has become their mistress now. And she is equally demanding on their time! This person has likely lost the balance he thought to improve and is in danger of becoming destructively obsessed.

Some people are more prone to addictive or obsessive behaviour and the gym crowd is no different. This obsessive focus or thought pattern could stem from any number of reasons, but body image related obsessive behaviours certainly have strong social manifestations. 

For most people embarking on a good exercise routine and healthy eating program for an aesthetic purpose is a powerfully positive and beneficial activity. I’ve seen clients absolutely transform their lives to be not only fit and healthy but incredibly vibrant, energetic and happy. The improved confidence and self esteem these clients have achieved because of their new bodies have a liberating effect and only good things can come of this. 

However anyone that thinks that an aesthetic change to a harder body is the be all and end all of happiness is sadly mistaken. I can assure you that if you’re unhappy at a size 16 you’ll be equally or more unhappy at a size 6 or 8 if you change nothing other than your dress size! If however you change your mental approach to feel increased confidence, self esteem and increased self worth then go ahead and get those rock hard Abs! It’s all about getting the most from your life, and that means balance.

I’ve found that exercise can certainly be destructive to some. Here are some of the tell-tale signs I feel indicate a destructive habit or unhealthy obsession with the gym and your body. If you can identify yourself in some of these be careful. It may be time to establish a more healthy and wholistic approach to your lifestyle.

1. You shun most, or even all, social activities with your friends or family because of your gym lifestyle. You’re willing to sacrifice human social contact in exchange for your goals. It’s not just once or twice. It’s most, or maybe even all of the time. This is a big sign to me that something could be very wrong. Having a great group of friends or family are the things in life that actually matter. What’s the point of looking like you’re carved out of granite if you spend every night at the gym or eating tins of tuna at home by yourself! Have friends, go out, interact, laugh and have a life.
2. You train despite an injury or illness when you know you shouldn’t. You’ve been told to rest, but you drag your butt to the gym or go for a run anyway. There’s training around an injury and then there’s training despite an injury. If you have a rotator cuff (shoulder) injury and you choose to safely train legs instead, that’s commitment. If you choose to ignore your rotator cuff injury and train heavy bench press anyway, despite the pain, you’re either a bit of a goose or you might be destructively obsessed with exercise. Rest, recover and respect your body
3. You just don’t ever miss a day. You train seven days a week and if you miss a day you feel guilty, down and depressed. If your gym closes for a public holiday you search high and low for another gym that’s still open. If you can’t find one you go for a run or do something at home. Get over it. The gym is closed and you can’t train for one or two days. Catch up with friends, family and the world. They’re all living for the enjoyment of a day off and so should you. One day off from the gym isn’t going to lose all your results anyway. Find a balance.
4. You have nothing else. The gym is your everything. Your whole life and entire being centres around the gym. This is very UN-healthy! I’m not talking about just socially here, I just mean having a variety of other interests, activities and hobbies. The gym and exercise should enhance your life, not be your whole life. Develop some interests outside of the gym. It’s okay if it’s still a bit fitness oriented but try make it social like joining a bushwalking or hiking group.
5. You spend hours in the gym but you don’t really know anyone there. You don’t talk to anyone, even after you’ve finished training, and you spend the whole session training on your own. When you finished you stretch in silence, drink a protein shake on your own, have a shower and go home. Interact. If you’re interested in fitness you’ve just found your peers in the gym. Sure you don’t need to ruin your workouts gas-bagging but at least make some contact. Maybe there’s a training buddy in there that’ll give your workouts a balance and social slant that’s more healthy.
6. You expect absolute perfection from your body and no matter how much you’ve improved you’re STILL as discontent in your own results as the day you decided to start. You’ll only be happy with a rock hard, toned body. It’s fine to aspire to a certain look or level of conditioning, but you’ve got to be able to celebrate victories and feel happy with your results. You don’t need to stop aspiring, or settle for mediocrity. It’s okay to want more from yourself. Just be happy with your progress and enjoy the ride.

Here are my final thoughts: It’s okay to be passionate about exercise. It’s okay to aspire to your “dream body”. It’s fine to love the gym and measure your food. Your dedication to eating clean is inspiring to others and a great example for friends and family to follow. It’s even okay to be a little obsessed with everything fitness. As long as these behaviours are positive and beneficial they’re all okay. But if you find yourself shifting towards destructive behaviours or negative obsession then you need to stop and re-assess. A healthy lifestyle is so much more than a toned, hard athletes body. It’s mental, spiritual and social too. Be the whole package!

Thanks so much for your comments Kirsty. I think its a very valuable lesson that you offer and is something that we can all learn from. Thanks for sharing!
(Kirsty’s full original letter is published below)

If you enjoyed this article, if it made you think about your own health and fitness please don’t forget to click like.
Visit the Ignite website for more information on training with RogerScholtz: http://www.ignitepersonaltrainer.com/
Ignite Performance Health and Fitness, dedicated to your results. 

Original message from Kirsty:

“Great advice, I have been there in a big way, so much so, that it almost destroyed my marriage and almost sent me down the path of an eating disorder, I got so focused.
Through it all, though, I never, ever thought my body was good enough and it has taken me a few years to adjust my mind and work on my CONFIDENCE to get me back on the ground floor.

I now exercise for FUN, I love to run, so that is what I do, any form of exercise and active lifestyle is good, the problem is, that there are so many people telling you the “right” type of exercise to do and when you are an “obsessed” type of person, you tend to take it all on and try to do it ALL.

Exercise wasn’t really heard of “back in the day”, people kept fit by working hard. I DON”T want a HARD body, I just want to be fit and healthy and ME, NOT an athlete and also embrace ALL the other things my body and mind and spirit can do, like growing a child and giving birth and being creative and learning and meeting and interacting with amazing people.

If we all saw our bodies as an amazing, self healing, creative thing and stopped focusing on what we look like ALL THE TIME and comparing ourselves to others, we would be so much happier, we could work out how our OWN body works and how to look after it without striving to be who we are not. I do agree with a lot of what you say and live by a healthy approach to life, but I choose to see the BIGGER picture, yes, it is about health, but it is not healthy to be SO focused on one thing when you HAVE to be so many other things for yourself AND those you love”